Anatomy of Recovery


Pro-Recovery
I'm Jules, a 23 year old recent college graduate, currently working and applying for grad school. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 14. I'm 100% committed to recovery because I know how amazing it can be. This blog is about my journey and any help and inspiration I can offer others on their own journeys.
I tag all my personal pics "julespic" so that you can block the tag if you find them triggering. I also tag all photos of food with the "food" tag in case they are triggering to you.

Ask Me Anything


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"Hello. I was wondering if you could help me, since you know what I'm going through. Or possibly going through, I don't even know. I'm pretty sure I have an eating disorder, it just seems so tiny and insignificant compared to what other people may be going through I don't even know if my problems are worth solving. I've never really talked to anyone about it before so I might be rambling, sorry. But I want to get better, but I don't want to involve my family and friends; it's not fair to them." With love, Anonymous.

I think that if you’re suffering, you deserve to feel better.  There’s always going to be someone worse off than you but that doesn’t take away the fact that you’ve got whatever you’ve got going on.  Many people with disordered eating have thought distortions that minimize their problems.  Your problems are always worth solving.  Your family and friends are there because they want to support you.  Wouldn’t you want to support them if they were in a similar situation.  Don’t discount yourself.  Treat yourself how you’d treat your friends.  Find compassion for yourself.  Wanting to get better is really great.  You may have an eating disorder, you may have disordered eating that could develop into an eating disorder and you may have disordered eating that just makes you miserable or prevents you from fully engaging in your life.  In any case, reaching out to someone is really important.  You aren’t a burden.  You are a valued member of your family and your community, and that’s a totally fair thing to do.

"I just wanted to say that you inspire me and I think it is great that you share your life and your story on Tumblr. It is really helpful for people like me who are in recovery." With love, Anonymous.

Thank you, I’m so glad to be helpful to anyone.  I also find it helpful to be able to have a safe space to talk about stuff and have such supportive people who listen.  <3

booksfrommyshelf:

It’s a Magical World (by kameron elisabeth)

booksfrommyshelf:

It’s a Magical World (by kameron elisabeth)

(via badhabitofmine)

nom-food:

Greek pasta salad

nom-food:

Greek pasta salad

(via badhabitofmine)

The Nightly Cute Report: Day 31

The Nightly Cute Report: Day 31

(Source: 4thkinddenver, via badhabitofmine)

neuroticshedemon reblogged your post Also, I’m sexy in bed wearing my compr… and added:

another person with ehlers danlos and an eating disorder?!??! i thought people like us were unicorns!

I think that I’ve met about seven people through tumblr who have both!  I’ve always sort of wondered if my late diagnosis led to me feeling at odds with my body and trying to control it, since it can feel very out-of-control.  It was like… why can’t my body do what everyone elses’ body does?… why does my body always seem to cause me pain?  I think some of that helped contribute to my eating disorder because I wanted some sort of control over my body.

just-a-skinny-boy replied to your post “just-a-skinny-boy replied to your post:Also, I’m sexy in bed wearing…”

Do you know many people who also have it?

I’ve met a surprising number of people through this blog who also have it, even though I don’t post about it terribly often.  I’ve met a lot of people who have both eating disorders, depression, and who self-harm, along with Ehlers Danlos.  It’s been unexpected and very interesting.  I don’t know anyone in real life.

You has EDS? I actually personally know two other people who have it! Stay strong <3

Yep, I do!  Thanks for the support <3

Also, I’m sexy in bed wearing my compression stockings because I have hella edema in my ankles/legs.

Let’s play Ehlers Danlos or Eating Disorder!

OOTD is more exciting when I don’t have most of my clothes or a mirror and still have to fit dress code.  It’s looking a little silly.  Yay.  

Can I be done with moving yet?  At least I bought food today to keep at work for my insane hours, so I can now have two meals and a snack at work, even if nothing else works out in my day.  I got yogurts, kiwi, bagels from the real bagel place, lunchmeat, butter, banana bread, some trader joe’s frozen meals, odwalla supplement protein shakes, and chocolate covered sunflower seeds.

"sndajsnahcdhquhabsudhancuhasb" With love, Anonymous.

mmmmkay…

"To the body checking anon: I didn't know what body checking was until I got to IP, despite the fact that I had been doing it for over 10 years. However at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if the behaviour has a name or a label, all that matters is that you work on reducing/eliminating it from your life" With love, grabbing-onto-life.

So very true!

"i didn't know that 'body checking' was an actual thing.... i've done that for several years now, i'm over a year into my recovery but to this day i still do it. this now worries me :/" With love, Anonymous.

I certainly don’t mean to worry you!  You’re still exactly where you were before you heard about this as an aspect to many peoples eating disorders.  Recovery is a process and it’s not uncommon to still have things like this going on, especially if they haven’t been specifically addressed by treatment that may focus more on something like weight gain.  Body checking is something that all people do to a certain extent but something that people with eating disorders often do to the point where it is detrimental or their body checking is paired with detrimental cognitive distortions.  It’s something that you might want to bring up in therapy so you can work on it.  Wouldn’t it be nice to live without all those things that worry you and bring you down?  It’s not something that should make you doubt yourself, a way to move forward that maybe you didn’t know you had.  Again, I am very sorry to worry you.

This PDF has some helpful activities for addressing body checking, but working with a therapist is ideal.

"I hope this doesn't trigger anything (I would never, ever want to do that), but you mentioned in a post a while back something called "body checking." What is that? (Sending love and good vibes. <3)" With love, Anonymous.

Thank you for being so considerate in your question.  Body checking is a repetitive behavior that can take a lot of different forms for different people.  It’s usually a behavior that “checks in” on the body and is used for comfort or judgement of someone’s body.  I don’t want to trigger anyone by describing what body checking is for me but commonly described behaviors include weighing, measuring, examining in the mirror, or feeling the body in particular ways.  These behaviors have been described in similar terms to certain OCD behaviors.  It’s kind of hard to explain but doing body checking is comforting to me and can also send me into a panic depending on how the checking goes.  This means that it can sometimes make you feel good, but when in you’re in recovery and moving in a positive direction, something that you once found comforting now upsets you all the time.  It’s something that I think is very important to address in recovery.  I’ve found that certain types of body checking were harder for me to kick than others.  I can stop myself from weighing by not having access to a scale, but things like touching are harder for me to kick.  And the weighing is still an ongoing struggle.  I hope this helps and I can answer more specific questions off anon. <3