"How are you recovered? You're thin" With love, Anonymous.
I have a number of responses to this, aside from the obligatory eye roll.
- I have requested numerous times that people not comment on my body. Please be respectful.
- This is just your opinion. See above^
- I have never claimed to be “recovered” only recovering. It’s an ongoing process. And I’m the one who gets to define recovery for myself, just like I offer you the same courtesy. You may think that my assessments are incorrect, but it’s not your job to judge that.
- Eating disordered is not a body type. You can’t tell if someone has an eating disorder from looking at them, so why would you assume someone was not recovered by looking at them? You’re not my doctor, so you really don’t know much at all about my body. You’re just looking at a couple of pictures! Eating disorders are not the only reason why a person might be thin, even if that person has an eating disorder history. How would you judge my health based on a photo? I don’t feel like I should justify my current body.
- I feel like the focus on thinness in terms of recovery takes a lot away from folks who don’t have a lot of external indicators of their suffering. Like, if I was b’ping every day and going through hell but at a higher weight, you’d probably not be sending me this message, whereas I’m pretty stable right now and I’m getting this sort of message. And that’s really uncool.
- It sounds like you feel threatened or upset by your perception of my body or are comparing to my body. I’d urge you to consider why you’re feeling this way and redirect your attention to yourself.
Well… packing… ootd… I could really be happy with not moving so frequently. It will be a miracle if I make it through the next two weeks with my increased work hours, moving to my new place, thinking about career stuff, an interview, my birthday, starting this clinical trial, and not crashing and burning emotionally.
Wish for my miracle?
"Hey~ I just wanted to say how gorgeous you are and you're a constant inspiration to me and I'm sure many other people <3 Stay strong and keep being amazing~!" With love, Anonymous.
Thanks so much, hon <3 I really appreciate the message!
Why haven’t they found a way for my anxiety to power a hydroelectric plant or something? I’m pretty sure it’s an unlimited source of raw potential energy that’s just sitting here in my chest.
I’m in the process of moving and working full time schedules, so I really apologize for not getting around to messages lately. Soon, lovely followers. Soon.
My pain clinic nurse weighed me “wrong” (in sneakers and jacket, not light clothes or gown without shoes, and then rounded down arbitrarily to account for it).
And that’s okay. It didn’t feel okay at first but I wasn’t about to freak out at a nurse who had no idea about eating disorders and “weigh-in protocols.” It’s okay even though it’s permanently written somewhere as part of my records.
Numbers don’t have to be “real” because I’m not a calculator or a math problem. There is no “ONE REAL TRUE WEIGHT.” My weight is not a higher power or a truth of the universe.
HE IS ASKED TO COME CLOSE AND SNUGGLE AND HE IS SO HAPPY TO
The Nightly Cute Report: Day 29
(Source: enelojodelculo, via badhabitofmine)
The Scale Smashing Was A Success!
My friend B and I hiked out to Walden Pond and climbed down some rocks to the beach. It had just started to snow. I had covered the glass of the scale in Thoreau quotes the previous night. In order to smash it, we wrapped it in a sheet, put it inside a canvas bag, and put the bag in a backpack. Then we smashed the heck out of it on the rocks.
Remembering this today for some reason.
Today’s flavor is pink lemonade!
Today’s theme is getting through the day!
I’m having awful relationship stuff right now and feel like it’s everything falling apart, so I could use some love tonight.
And I’m getting weighed and have to face my parents, who are only in town for the weekend, in the morning and pretend to be okay? I’m sorry for being needy.