Anatomy of Recovery


Pro-Recovery
I'm Jules, a 22 year old recent college graduate. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 14. I'm 100% committed to recovery because I know how amazing it can be. This blog is about my journey and any help and inspiration I can offer others on their own journeys.
I tag all my personal pics "julespic" so that you can block the tag if you find them triggering. I also tag all photos of food with the "food" tag in case they are triggering to you.

Ask Me Anything


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Theme by @yosoyprincesa.

Talk to me.

Aw, people are reblogging this again :)  Lil young me.

Aw, people are reblogging this again :)  Lil young me.

(Source: anatomy-of-recovery)

I’m back home for a week and it’s going pretty well so far.  Today I made my family a beautiful breakfast for dinner; a summer frittata and oven french toast with strawberries.  My mom was even willing to eat the entire dinner as long as I didn’t salt it or put anything with salt in it.  My sister was willing to eat it as long as I didn’t use cream in the french toast.  Such is family.  Sigh.  My mom would NEVER have had this a few years ago.  Never.  So there are things to be thankful for, certainly.

My mom also got me this super super adorable cat necklace at Target.  It’s amazing how exciting Target becomes when you never get to go to it.

"how long are you in recovery?" With love, Anonymous.

That’s a question with many answers.  I first got anorexia when I was 13 (2003) and first entered recovery at age 14 (2004/2005).  I was then in recovery from 2004-2011, when I relapsed at 21.  I re-entered recovery sometime in 2012 and since then I’ve considered myself in recovery, although I’ve had a few major lapses along the way.  I’m 23 now.

"are you weight restored?" With love, Anonymous.

Long time followers of this blog will know that I really dislike getting this question and any other questions about my weight.  If you want to talk about my weight, come off anon and give me a good reason why it’s something you should know.  I usually just use these questions to talk about stuff I feel like talking about.

That being said, I couldn’t give an answer,even if I wanted to.  I got rid of my scales and I’m not being followed by a nutritionist or a doctor who specializes in eating disorders anymore.  Before I stopped going, they couldn’t give me a consensus about what a goal weight would even be for me.  My old nutritionist was very concrete and specific, whereas the most recent one was very wishy-washy and my doctor sort of shrugged and said that if I was eating enough she guessed that whatever my weight was would be fine.  It was all very stressful.  Now I mainly practice intuitive eating while making sure to get in a certain number of meals/snacks a day.  It’s certainly an adjustment to not know my weight or have someone guiding my weight when in the past I had such a specific number or range to focus on or achieve.

So, I don’t know my weight.  I don’t know if it’s “restored.”  I am not even sure what “restored” would mean for me anymore.  I can guess at about where I’m at, but that’s not information that I think would be helpful for folks and I’m not at all sure if it would even be accurate.

"I don't like the word sexy and I hate when people call me such. I personally feel degraded - as if as a woman I am merely a sex object. Now of COURSE people don't usually mean it that way. But I've had so many men mean it that way that it's repulsive to me. So my point is that we all see words differently and that doesn't make us insecure about who we are just because we don't like the words definition. :)" With love, Anonymous.

(2) and “sexy” or even “attractive” are things that are maybe even more important to keep to classified individuals. Not that you don’t want people to think you aren’t sexy but that it’s not the piece of you you want them to see…? Anyways, long story short, you’re normal for wanting to control others’ perceptions of you and I hope you come to peace with this discomfort in one way or another (and that nobody makes you feel uncomfortable if they have power to avoid it) ps you’re a lovely human<3

Thank you; I really appreciate the thought and care in your response.  I think you hit on a lot of things that resonate with me.

"You are sexy. :)" With love, Anonymous.

I don’t always want to be sexy though!  I feel vulnerable when people on the street think I’m sexy.  It isn’t comfortable or really a good thing in my mind a lot of the time.  I appreciate that this message was intended to be reassuring and a compliment and I’m thankful for the kindness you were showing.  Sexuality is pretty complicated for me.

"It is time for you to learn to love yourself as much as you want to be loved by others." With love, Anonymous.

I’m not really sure where this message came from or how to take it, to be honest.

If only I could control when my body is perceived as sexy and when it wasn’t.  And save that for only safe spaces.

winter-glitter-red:

this is one of the best thing I have seen in my life.

winter-glitter-red:

this is one of the best thing I have seen in my life.

(Source: realignanxiety, via caffeinatedrecoveryblog)

Today marks exactly 40 days since I last knew my weight.  I just happened to decide to count this afternoon.

anatomy-of-recovery:

I’m thinking of posting a daily cute animal photo.

I think that would be a happy thing for me.

You guys game?

I will be starting the Nightly Cute Report tonight and running it for the next 30 days.  Prepare yourselves!

I’m thinking of posting a daily cute animal photo.

I think that would be a happy thing for me.

You guys game?

anatomy-of-recovery:

Get help; you can get better.

Old post :)

anatomy-of-recovery:

Get help; you can get better.

Old post :)

(via my-url-is-shitty-i-know)

I saw that someone had edited my much-hated ad that I pass on the way to work!
Body positivity everywhere for every body!

I saw that someone had edited my much-hated ad that I pass on the way to work!
Body positivity everywhere for every body!