Anatomy of Recovery


Pro-Recovery
I'm Jules, a 22 year old recent college graduate. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 14. I'm 100% committed to recovery because I know how amazing it can be. This blog is about my journey and any help and inspiration I can offer others on their own journeys.
I tag all my personal pics "julespic" so that you can block the tag if you find them triggering. I also tag all photos of food with the "food" tag in case they are triggering to you.

Email Me at anatomy.of.recovery@gmail.com

Ask Me Anything


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Theme by @yosoyprincesa.

I think I have strep even though I don’t have tonsils anymore!

D:

Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy ice cream with fresh strawberries (afternoon snack)

Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy ice cream with fresh strawberries (afternoon snack)

"Are you still with your boyfriend? And also, if you don't mind me asking, is there a certain sexual orientation that you identify with at this point in time? Also, I have a major crush on you." With love, Anonymous.

Haha, oh goodness, thank you.  Too cute!!  I’m not still with the person I was dating when I started this blog.  We broke up after 7 years last August.  You’ll see him referred to in old posts as P.  I’m dating someone I refer to as B now.  We’ve been dating for a few months and have been friends for a long time.

I came out as bisexual when I was 15, and I guess I identify with that but times have changed in the past 8ish years, and I now have a lot more words at my disposal for defining my sexual orientation.  I guess nowadays I use queer most frequently, bisexual for the convenience of others, and pansexual is probably the most “accurate.”

To Do Today:
  • Make appointment with the psychiatrist
  • Make appointment with Medical Genetics
  • Do laundry
  • Get all the dishes out of my room
  • Pay parking ticket
  • Move spring clothes into room
  • Start a sell/give away bag for clothes
  • Answer tumblr messages
  • Throw away trash in room
  • Mail birthday card for Dad
  • Shower
  • Deposit check
  • Eat the foods.

To my dear followers,

Tomorrow I FINALLY have a day off without appointments, so I’ll be spending a good chunk of time answering the questions that have piled up in my inbox.  I appologize for any delay— things have been a bit crazy.  Feel free to send a message and I’ll reply tomorrow.

Love,
Jules

Rocking some new me-sized clothing from H&M at work.  I always find that store very challenging because the size numbers are always higher, since it’s European.  I decided not to even try things on below a certain number.  No need to get upset.  I even bought some pants that I can wear for work when it gets warm.  Please, Spring, come now!

Rocking some new me-sized clothing from H&M at work. I always find that store very challenging because the size numbers are always higher, since it’s European. I decided not to even try things on below a certain number. No need to get upset. I even bought some pants that I can wear for work when it gets warm. Please, Spring, come now!

I can’t wait until this current bout of depression lifts.  I know it’s going to pass but I hate the waiting and not knowing how long it will be before I can resume my regularly scheduled emotional life.

Breakfast was a strawberry, mango, banana smoothie and a sweet panini, which was mascarpone cheese and fig jam pressed in brioche bread and sprinkled with powdered sugar.
Guess who is going to the nutritionist tomorrow morning?
 This lady.  
I have to decide whether I want to switch to blind weights.

Breakfast was a strawberry, mango, banana smoothie and a sweet panini, which was mascarpone cheese and fig jam pressed in brioche bread and sprinkled with powdered sugar.

Guess who is going to the nutritionist tomorrow morning?

 This lady.  

I have to decide whether I want to switch to blind weights.

Oh my god, the message is an apology.

Well, folks.  This is the former home of the household scale.  

The scale is gone.

I’ve been living here for 6 months and last night I finally got up the nerve to ask one of my housemates to move it into their room and admit to them that I’m in recovery for what I vaguely referred to as “eating issues.”  I’ve known that I had to do it for a while, so I just had to find a random moment of blind bravery/stupidity and just spit it out.

It had to go but I’m freaking terrified. (And also pretty proud)

Sometimes I just feel like a black hole of negative energy in the lives of the people who I know. I want to bring positivity but I feel like I’m not capable right now.

Last night and today have been really incredibly rough due to relationship things. I wasn’t sure how to process my feelings or how to deal with their intensity. I ended up leaving the situation to go for a walk by myself to get coffee. Then I practiced “feeling naming” to sort out my emotions and keep myself from directing all of my negative feelings inwards. I Was coping with SH and ED urges. I am not a happy camper but I feel good about how I dealt with and expressed my feelings today.

Last night and today have been really incredibly rough due to relationship things. I wasn’t sure how to process my feelings or how to deal with their intensity. I ended up leaving the situation to go for a walk by myself to get coffee. Then I practiced “feeling naming” to sort out my emotions and keep myself from directing all of my negative feelings inwards. I Was coping with SH and ED urges. I am not a happy camper but I feel good about how I dealt with and expressed my feelings today.

anatomy-of-recovery:

Ask me anything and I’ll respond with one sentence, only for the next hour!

Personal, random, recovery, etc.

Please, I’m stuck on campus with just my phone to entertain me :)

Waiting for the train and then commuting for an hour this time! Ask anything!!

I tried Trader Joe’s silver dollar pancakes for the first time today, and they were yummy and easy to prepare.
TW positive but some weight/food talk without numbers
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My body has tolerated the food increase quite well for the past week.  My weight went up a step and then stabilized again.  I guess I need to increase again.  I’m surprised that the extreme hunger has abated and isn’t cueing me to increase.  I think all of this minnie maude talk is interesting.  It’s kind of what we’ve been doing with my treatment all along, since I did Maudsley mostly when I was 14.  It’s certainly in line with my knowledge of biochemistry and metabolism and the arguments that I’ve had with more than a few doctors and nutritionist over the years.

I tried Trader Joe’s silver dollar pancakes for the first time today, and they were yummy and easy to prepare.

TW positive but some weight/food talk without numbers

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