Anatomy of Recovery

I'm Jules, a 22 year old recent college graduate. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 14. I'm 100% committed to recovery because I know how amazing it can be. This blog is about my journey and any help and inspiration I can offer others on their own journeys.
I tag all my personal pics "julespic" so that you can block the tag if you find them triggering. I also tag all photos of food with the "food" tag in case they are triggering to you.

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Theme by @yosoyprincesa.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh

(Source: fightffyrdmns)

Look at this lil cupcake cutie!  My coworker brought them in from Flour bakery cafe in Boston.

Look at this lil cupcake cutie! My coworker brought them in from Flour bakery cafe in Boston.

I have successfully purchased the most hated item of clothing from the thrift store: shorts.  Now I just have to wear them.  I only owned two pairs of shorts before today.

"I've often wondered if you get freaking sick of receiving ask after ask about is it okay that I ate x calories?" With love, Anonymous.

I mean, I don’t love to talk about it necessarily and I pretty much always give the same answers but I understand that it can be really important for people to hear these things, sometimes over and over.  I’ve always wanted to make people feel better and supported.  Even if it’s repetitive and sometimes not my favorite thing, I’m willing to do it.  But yeah, if I’m in a grumpy mood, I do a little.  I’d love to say that I never do but that’s just not the case and I’m not perfect.  I try to just wait until I’m in a more compassionate and peaceful place in order to answer.

I am so incredibly bored of thinking about and talking about bodies and my body and other people’s bodies and all of that shit.  God, IT’S SO BORING.  I AM SO SICK OF IT.  It’s just the same damn thing over and over and it’s not even an important thing.  I am going to be such a more interesting person when I’m fully recovered.

"I've been following you for a very long while, and I'm very proud of you. Idk that sounds silly even though I don't know you, but I just think you are very amazing, and you deserve such wonderful things. :)" With love, Anonymous.

Oh, you’re so kind, I wish I knew who you were!  Thank you so much for this message.  You’re such a lovely person to be spreading your positivity like this. <3


I learned this skill in DBT and I made a worksheet to share it with you. Of course, one does not have to fill out a worksheet to weigh the pros and cons of acting on a behavior but it can be helpful to consider the pros and cons of both acting and not acting on an impulse.

(via livinginfuckinghope)

"i want you to know that your strength is so inspiring & i wish you all the best xx" With love, Anonymous.

Thank you so much for this, hon.  I really appreciate your kind words <3

I just enjoyed a brief restorative yoga practice (wearing just my panties, of course) between work and my much-needed nap.  I am in love with my yoga brick.  There are very few things in this earthly plane of existence that feel as good as stretching my back with my yoga brick.

I just enjoyed a brief restorative yoga practice (wearing just my panties, of course) between work and my much-needed nap.  I am in love with my yoga brick.  There are very few things in this earthly plane of existence that feel as good as stretching my back with my yoga brick.

"Is it normal to feel alone at times? during recovery i mean. Not all the time only sometimes but it creeps up on me and sometimes its like i'm drowning. I need help. Please" With love, Anonymous.

It’s normal to feel alone sometimes but it sounds like what you’re going through right now is very painful, and you certainly don’t need to be suffering like this.  Can you let someone know that you’re feeling this way, like your therapist?  It can be very lonely to be going through things alone.  Treating these kind of feelings is an integral part of recovery, just as much as eating is.  It sounds like more than just feeling alone is going on here, and depression can be a serious part of eating disorders.  

Maybe you can come up with a short list of 5 people you can call, text, or email when you’re feeling alone.  You can let them know that you might reach out to them and let them know if you want to be distracted or if you want to talk about what you’re feeling.  Sometimes it can be really hard to reach out.  Once, when I was feeling really alone, I just posted a status on facebook asking folks to share a youtube video that always makes them smile.  Having a routine that involves self-care and seeing people can also help keep the dark feelings from creeping up on you.  

Sending love <3

I always end up posting the disordered thoughts that are currently bugging me at like 3 AM and then turning the posts to private before people see them and think poorly of me or are triggered.  I feel like this sucks.

"Can you provide some advice on how to be okay with wearing summer clothes now that the weather is changing? I have been under an immense amount of stress thinking about how I cant hide in my baggy clothes over the summer because it will be too warm." With love, Anonymous.

I wouldn’t want to advocate you hiding under clothing, but I think it’s fine to find summer clothing that you’re more comfortable in.  Wear things that allow you to experience the joys of summer without being constantly thinking about your body.  You can try babydoll dresses, flowy lace tops, maxi skirts and dresses, and floaty summer skirts.  Everyone is different, but I found that I was really uncomfortable in shorts and tight dresses but quite comfortable in dresses that were fitted in the chest and then flared out or in flowy boho styles.  I can post some ideas if you’d like— just send another ask and I’ll put up some links?  Find some things that you actually like and think are pretty, too.

It’s going to take some time for you to get used to wearing less clothing in general.  You may find that comfort will increase with time.  To some degree, everyone else is also feeling the same way.  Remember that people are going to be more concerned with their own bodies than they are with yours.  Hope this helps!

"HI Odd question here, can anorexia recovers have a flat tummy? I am exercising (It has been approved) but i wonder how long it may take to see a difference in my tummy, i am doing exercise that focuses on that are. Any advice would be great" With love, Anonymous.

Is this the same person who keeps asking me questions about tummy flatness, bloating, and exercise?  There’s no reason that someone who has recovered can’t have a flat tummy, if that’s how their body naturally acts.  Anorexia won’t permanently alter what your body type is, although weight redistribution can take up to a year.  Some people will never have a flat tummy at a healthy weight, others will.  Pretty much no one has a flat tummy 100% of the time because there’s food and organs in there.  It is meant to expand in response to food.  It’s impossible to spot-reduce fat, but if your core muscles are wasted away from anorexia, it may end up looking different over time.  Again, I don’t really give advice about exercise and body toning aside from using yoga as a wellness tool.

I’m sorry if this response comes across as rude; I certainly don’t intend it that way.  I understand really wanting your stomach to be flat, and that might happen, but I think that focusing to this extent on altering your body could get in the way of some of the mental work of recovery.  Best wishes <3

(via dontyouever-giveup)


this was the old one…

Same url, same me, different picture!