Anatomy of Recovery


Pro-Recovery
I'm Jules, a 23 year old recent college graduate, currently working and applying for grad school. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 14. I'm 100% committed to recovery because I know how amazing it can be. This blog is about my journey and any help and inspiration I can offer others on their own journeys.
I tag all my personal pics "julespic" so that you can block the tag if you find them triggering. I also tag all photos of food with the "food" tag in case they are triggering to you.

Ask Me Anything


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Theme by @yosoyprincesa.

Lately I haven’t felt like a person with an eating disorder.

Is it a trick?

#EDulting, a tag for adult eating disorder stuff

anatomy-of-recoveryI really wish there was a simple tag related to adult eating disorders where we could talk about adulting with ed/recovery

anatomy-of-recovery:

Maybe we/I should make one?  Is anyone else interested in this?

How about EDulting as suggested by muchwillbedemanded?  That’s currently pretty empty empty.  Reblog to get out the word?

#EDulting

I’m just so tired of my knee-jerk, overblown, self-blame, self-hate response to literally everything.
I’m blurry but cute!!
I’m leaving tomorrow to go for a weekend trip with B, so I won’t be online much.  I’m hoping it’ll be exactly what we need to relax, recharge, and connect.
I have only 5 more working days at my current job!!  This morning I had my checkup with employee health at my new job and I got “NOT CLEARED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE,” so I had to get a bunch of stuff from my various doctors about being healthy and fit to work.  I feel like I wanted to just lie and make things easier but I guess I didn’t.  They were mainly worried about the ehlers Danlos, not the anorexia since my weight is good.  It’s pretty much sorted out now.  I am required to wear a special respirator in rooms with respiratory protocols because of my heart condition.  A normal respirator might put too much stress and increase my heart rate.

I’m blurry but cute!!
I’m leaving tomorrow to go for a weekend trip with B, so I won’t be online much. I’m hoping it’ll be exactly what we need to relax, recharge, and connect.
I have only 5 more working days at my current job!! This morning I had my checkup with employee health at my new job and I got “NOT CLEARED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE,” so I had to get a bunch of stuff from my various doctors about being healthy and fit to work. I feel like I wanted to just lie and make things easier but I guess I didn’t. They were mainly worried about the ehlers Danlos, not the anorexia since my weight is good. It’s pretty much sorted out now. I am required to wear a special respirator in rooms with respiratory protocols because of my heart condition. A normal respirator might put too much stress and increase my heart rate.

I really wish there was a simple tag related to adult eating disorders where we could talk about adulting with ed/recovery

anatomy-of-recovery:

Maybe we/I should make one?  Is anyone else interested in this?

How about EDulting as suggested by muchwillbedemanded?  That’s currently pretty empty empty.  Reblog to get out the word?

Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s As Tall As Cliffs (via lets-wait-for-a-better-day)
I really wish there was a simple tag related to adult eating disorders where we could talk about adulting with ed/recovery

Maybe we/I should make one?  Is anyone else interested in this?

"I have a cold which started with a sore throat on the weekend, now it's gone but I also lost my voice, I can barely speak. The problem is I have an ED and I've been bp-ing during this sickness too and I'm worried about my vocal chords. Does it cause significant further damage to them if I keep throwing up while my voice is so hoarse and I can barely speak?" With love, Anonymous.

TW, trigger warning
I’m answering from my phone, so this might be a little shorter than my usual answers. This is a question for an ENT doctor but I would go ahead and assume that causing further trauma to an area that is significantly inflamed is always going to cause further damage. The extent of this damage is hard to predict, but adding acid to an area that is raw like a skinned knee is not going to be good. Being sick can also throw off your electrolytes, adding to the risks if purging now. I hope you feel better soon and that you are able to see a doctor ASAP. They might be able to help suggest things to heal your throat or do some damage prevention. It sounds like talk therapy is going to be difficult right now but if you have a therapist, can you email with them about what is going on? Obviously the best answer is not to purge anymore but I understand it’s not nearly that simple to just do. I think it’s important to get medical and psychological support.

"why do you tag all your posts that are about things other than recovery #anorexia#ed#recovery etc" With love, Anonymous.

I have an auto tag-er but I try not to let it tag anything irrelevant, although I’m sure I miss some. You haven’t given me an example but I’ll respond in general. I think you may be misunderstand what kinds of things are also involved in recovery. I don’t post a ton of “fear foods” or things about weight anymore because a lot of my current recovery efforts are focused on how to function as an adult on my own without the negative coping skills that I’d been relying on. Learning to respect myself and deal with setbacks is a big part of my recovery right now. So is coping with change and learning emotional regulation. Sometimes it’s about getting out if bed in the morning or avoiding hopelessness pulling you under at night. I’m dealing with anxiety and feelings of self punishment. Basically I’m trying to learn how to adult because my eating disorder stunted that and the works terrifies me. I post about all these things as aspects of my recovery journey. It’s not going to be about meal plans and hospital appointments on my blog right now.

(Source: bearfoxchalk, via loudinthehouseof-myself)

This is the largest study that has ever been conducted to examine the genetic basis of anorexia.  Their goal is to collect 25k samples by 2016 from anyone who has ever been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa at some point in their life.  There are branches of the study in the US, Denmark, Sweden, Australia, and the UK to meet this goal.

I donated my DNA to this study about 6 months ago because there have been three generations of eating disorders in my family and I want to fund research so we can understand why this happens and how I can minimize the risks for my potential children.

Click the link to find more about how to donate your DNA and whether you are eligible to participate by answering questions about your eating disorder history.

I think this is a really cool thing to be a part of :)

Okay, so today was awful.  Awful, really, really bad.  I feel like a totally ineffectual human.  I finally got a call back from Occupational Health about my pre-hire appointment, when I am supposed to get my tb test and physical.  I gave them my availability about 2 weeks ago but this is the first time they have called me and basically said, ” well, we can only see you this Friday but we can’t do your TB test then, so you’ll have to pay to get it done somewhere else today, otherwise you’ll have to push back your start date.”  They told me that all CVS pharmacies did TB tests (this is false) then when I convinced her she was wrong, she gave me the address for one with a minute clinic.  Too bad it was the wrong address.  I was on the phone trying to work things out with them all morning and all through my lunch break.  I left early from work to get there in time and even took a cab so I could be sure to get in since it’s a walk-in.  My cab dropped me off in entirely the wrong spot, and so I ended up walking lost and alone down the side of the highway.  I tried to see if I could walk to the correct address but it was 3.3 miles away and I couldn’t get another cab.  So I tried literally all day to get this fixed and I failed hardcore.  I now have two more things to do in the two most impossible weeks after wasting my one evening of time that I was going to use to get groceries.  So, I have no food here.

Part of me feels this incredible need to self harm and punish myself for my failings and part of me feels like I deserve to buy myself something from Lush or another treat because things have been so hard.  IDK.

If you post blatant pro-ed or pro-self harm material in the recovery tag intentionally I will report your blog, no questions asked.

At least I took a shower today?

At least I took a shower today?

Not even feeling a bit triggered by this entire stats lecture being about body fat %, BMI, weight, obesity, abdomen measurement, etc.  Like, somehow I feel nothing.  I think the professor has done a really good job of helping with that.